Drunken Tub Talk

Soleil and I enjoyed a warm bath together on this windy July night.  It was entertaining to the power of crazy because she was toddler-drunk.  She was high as a kite on fatigue and a serious play bender.  Tis a precarious perch to dance upon, but we managed to avoid the dark side.  This time.

Though there were a few risky moments...

Such as the one in which Soleil reached out and grabbed a handful of my face and squeezed so hard her body vibrated,  expressing the magnitude of her drunken delight. 

"OUCH!" I pouted.  "That was too rough.  I don't like that."

She raised her little brows and doubled the size of those blue eyes.

"Uh oh.  I don't want to hurt you, sweetie.  Come here, I a make you feel better honey."  Kiss, kiss.

"Thanks babe, you try to be gentle even when you are excited, OK?"


"I like your big tears, Mama.  They really nice and sooooooooooo big!" She said in her most encouraging, supportive voice.  Even though I wasn't crying, and raised those eyebrows again like, eh?  Did you see those comforting skills?  Pretty good, eh?

Sighing very contentedly she basically congratulated herself on a crisis well averted and went back to drinking the bath water.

And then I tossed one of her toys to her.  To her.  Not at her.

"MOMMY!" She admonished, disapproval gathering at her furrowed brow and trickling down to her tight frown.  "We do not throw stuffs!"

"Oops, sorry Soleil.  I forgot.  Why don't we throw things?"  I ask, wondering if she understands the reason to our rhyme.

"We do not throw stuff everywhere!  Because it is mine stuff and mine toy and it has water in it!!!!   AND, it is too sharp for you!  That's really dangwoos, Mommy.  That is mine.  We could ouch somebody!"

So, yeah she does.  Kind of.

And then she spat in my face. 

Notin a  malicious way, more like a - look at this awesome trick I can do, I totally want to share it with you and your face, don't you love it? - way.

"Oh dear, Soleil.  You know that spitting is only for the sink!  What happened?"

!!!


Busy eyes.  Twiddly fingers.  Mouth twitches.  Think fast think fast think fast....


"Soleil, where do we spit?"


"Only in the sink.  But I have some snotties in it.  In my spit."


Oh my.


"Well, Soleil, you know that if you spit it is a time-out.  So please keep your spit in your mouth so we can have fun.  You can spit in the sink after.  Understand?"


"WHOOOOAAAAAAAAA MOMMY!" This is her version of: CHECK OUT MY JAZZ HANDS, LOOK AT THEM GO, THEY ARE CRAZY AWESOME!  Did you forget what you were thinking about now?  Have we transitioned?


And she transitions with this:


"This bath is reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally VAGINA!"

Oh. My.